i feel like such a failure.
Monday, April 30, 2007
i felt like such a weak person today. i mean who breaks down crying jus cos you couldnt do three freakin' inclined pull-ups?! i dunno maybe i'm acting strong but deep inside, i'm not that strong. i guess i never was in the first place. that's SAD.
it's like everything was okay. until it came to that, omg that rly made me just break down and start crying. and i feel embarrassed cos i cried in front of so many ppl. and i dunno...it's like i've never cried and shown it to friends before. but yes this was the first time.
it didn't happen last year with close friends. or anything.
today's heart-to-heart talk got me thinking abt everything tts been happening. i guess we are drifting apart. and melody was right. classes do matter. we're all drifting apart and what we said about maintaining our friendship obviously didnt last long. i mean it's still okay just not as close as last time.
rah i feel rly sad right now. cos i feel that i can't tell who are my true and close friends and who are not. i rly can't tell right now. after today...i dunno. maybe i'll just learn to accept the truth. sometimes, i wish i had a heck-care attitude or a positive attitude like chowlyn. i mean she was still all cheery. and i dunno how she does it.
so since i know i can't have a heck-care attitude cos sadly i care too much about stuff, i guess i'll try to be more positive?
i think i jumped to alot of stuff in this post. not so much on napfa today. which i can't rly be bothered with alr. i'm prepared to fail it. or train for it. either one. but yeah it's jus napfa. i know i'm better at other sports. so why this kind? RAH.
haha today was the rare times when i stayed in school and sat in the canteen. jus chatting about random stuff. and at macs too. i guess i've been too busy to be able to do this kind of stuff. ): and that's bad.
i hope i can like focus on the more impt stuff from now onwards. mainly on friendships? i just hope i won't drift apart from them. so yeah gotta try hard.
and maybe, just maybe, things would change.
